We Forget to Be......

“... During placements, we harped on job satisfaction. By mid-30s, we seek self actualization! ...”
Interested? Read on!


‘In the process of becoming, we forget to be,’ says Vela. Does the pursuit of becoming rich, happy and famous distort our existence?

Vela watched Thambi all evening. While the rest of the batch was having a blast at the 10th year reunion, this man who had been the unifying factor at campus, now sat away, aloof, lost. Vela walked up to him to find him staring at a picture of his dad in his wallet. ‘Indian Tiger’, as Thambi’s dad was known, had passed away a few years ago. And now Thambi suddenly said: “Why is it so easy to love someone more when he is dead than when he is living? Is it because photographs allow you to express love without interrupting?

Why does the past have more clarity in the future?”

Vela sat by Thambi and said: “Because photographs don’t reveal faults; and because in the future, the faults are forgotten. We have to be grateful for Time, the perfect healer.” Then looking at his watch he said aloud: “Come on guys, let’s go and sit in a coffee shop till our flights in the morning. This young man here,” he said, referring to Rekha’s son, “has made sure we cannot go to a pub.”

They all drove in different cars. Buddha and Vela took a taxi. Vela broke the night’s silence when he said: “Remember when Anna sent a parcel home tied with his sacred thread? And his father called screaming, and the subsequent thread ceremony we performed on him before his dad arrived using Thambi’s spare thread?” Buddha let out a low laugh and Vela said: “We have all grown up together at campus. We have seen each other in boxers and banyans... we have seen each other crying, drunk. Hey Buddhadev, there is too much we have shared, and that is why I want Thambi to unwind....”. “And I want Kasparov and Anna to come into the open and finish it all off,” said Buddha.

“What’s the story there?” asked Vela. “I could see they were carping a lot, but Anna has very severe views on morals and stuff.” Buddha grinned, “Oh it’s more serious. Both were at ABC Investments when the Kemarr deal was being paced. Kasparov was on the fast track. The details are still blurred, but story is that ABC banked heavily on the Kemarr deal coming through, since Kemarr’s subsidiary, Incubus, was already their account. The resultant addition would have given ABC very big clout. Then all of a sudden Kasparov jumped ships and the next thing they knew he joined Abacus Investors at almost twice the remuneration. And who was Abacus? That was the firm which won the Kemarr deal! Story doing the rounds is that Abacus offered Kasparov big money and he took the new business with him.

“ABC went through severe crisis after Kasparov’s volte face. Because, with Kemarr going to Abacus, Incubus also withdrew and went to Abacus, and Incubus was Kasparov’s account. That really blew a big hole in ABC’s fortunes. ABC got a lot of bad press. In the aftermath, it lost a few more deals as a result of insensitive media. Parent company in Wall Street tightened the screws, reduced its commitment to India and major retrenchment followed at ABC.

“It’s quite gory, what one deal lost can do to a firm. Apparently, Anna did not see this coming. So Kasparov jumping the ship hit him in the face, especially when the media ran parallel stories of Kasaprov hitting the big times at Abacus, Abacus hitting even bigger times after bagging Kemarr and Incubus; and finally ABC getting the rap from Wall Street and landing in the doghouse. But Anna stuck it out, you know Anna, praan jaaye par vachan na jaaye. I am told he even took a substantial pay cut to help his firm tide over the bad phase, surrendered his huge house and moved to the suburbs. For his family, it was a huge status loss, coming at a time when his niece was being married off.”

Vela listened quietly, then said: “Buddhababu, I am not sure all this can be the result of one man’s move. Maan liya, it is not beyond Kasparov to move the entire knowledge and deal to better pastures; no doubt if someone does that it can be a big blow. But to really make a dent in the fortunes of a firm, it has to be a multi-billion dollar deal. Now even if that was so, think Buddhababu, here is where the story falls flat. Typically, such deals are confidential and one cannot easily take it from one company to another. Also it’s a bit thick, isn’t it, that not getting a large deal could affect ABC’s existence itself? The fact that they bid for such a large deal means that they would already have a well running business, no?”

Buddha grinned, “True, but we also know ABC lost Incubus, which was one of its big accounts; and recall I said ABC also lost a couple of smaller deals in the face of bad press. Yeh sab hota hai life mein, Vela. But you are wrong about one thing; Your judgment of Kasparov. You say it is not beyond Kasparov... I disagree. Kasparov is flighty, yes; he is always making moves and reworking his optimality situation, but he is not dishonest. I have been his roommate for two years; he sees lofty dreams, he even achieves them, and that is why we tend to think of him with suspicion. But he will not betray. He will not kill to win. This is what my heart says, but then, who knows Vela?”

“I don’t agree Buddhababu,” said Vela. “Some people don’t change. Take Thambi. The same ideals, the same intensity, the same passion. Kuch nahi badla. At campus, he had a two-pronged mission: one, give something back to society through professional management - and use his engineering background. Two, add value to India by joining an Indian company. He stuck by that, didn’t he? His father was his idol... poor man, we used to make so much fun of Indian Tiger.”

“What’s the use of ideals, Vela, if you break down when they put you to the test?” asked Buddha. “Thambi’s ideals were not easy to nourish, and I admire that he sustained it all these years. Today his company has sold out to a MNC. Thambi is a broken man. He needs to pull himself together. In the beginning, you are a professional; in the ambit of that you will see various moves taking place. You need to peg your ideals to your basic professional worldview.

“Theek hai, today his company has sold out, his chairman did what he thought was right for his business. Thambi is unhappy? Fair enough. Move to another family-managed company (FMC)! But now he is so despondent, he has transferred his feelings to FMCs as a genre... bahut dukh hai sansaar mein Vela,” said Buddha and looked out the window. “But you did almost the same thing, didn’t you Buddhababu?” said Vela. “Granted, Morro gave you deep agony. But why did you quit corporate life altogether? I am told one man there was the bad apple, but you threw the whole company away!”

Buddha sighed deeply, “Nahi re, I never really planned on joining an NGO. And this is where I can empathise with Thambi. I doted on my chairman. I worked like a horse, night and day... and the man was milking the company dry... and on top of that he made such wild allegations... insaan kitna nikamma hai, for the sake of money, he will sell his soul! And mind you, Vela, all this happens only in the corporate world - this money craze, this power game, this desire for more...

“I introspected a lot and finally decided to drop the corporate world. I thought, this is the goal for which we work all our youth, and in turn it destroys our souls. “It’s not that I was driven by noble thoughts when I joined the NGO. I thought if I want to get away from all of that, let my skills which my country gave me go back to till the soil. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice. I had to send my son away to a boarding in Mussoorie. Is it really fair for him to go to a boarding school to accommodate my value systems? On top of that the corruption, the sheer maladministration in rural India... it’s all frustrating.... Bahut khoya re, Vela...”

Vela felt his heart would burst. In a short span of five hours he had seen too much agony among his dearest buddies. When they reached Café Konkan, the others were already in deep discussion. Anna was saying: “See, on campus, it was not in your interest to help anyone with their assignments. But we always helped. Toppers like Thambi were forever giving gyan - not just to guys in danger of flunking, but even to me, who was gunning for an A. We were all like that. So, why suddenly when we go out into the corporate world, is there this major rivalry and selfishness? Decency has no value; even your buddy conceals a dagger while dealing with you!”

Thambi let out a growl: “Paisa, power! That’s the common denominator! You come with huge ideals like loyalty, trust, etc., but you forget, it’s not reciprocal! The CEO will tell you what a great guy you are, but beneath that praise lies his personal agenda. What happened at MBT Sonar? Madhavji and I shared a common vision: build the Sonar brand into a truly Indian food brand. Our spices brand was a rage. I took it global, something Madhavji never dreamt possible. Then came the opportunity to ride high on the ready-to-eat category. I prospected and acquired Bawarchi at a throw away price. And what a brand...

“I went about really building on it, hired the best chefs and food technologists and developed a stunning range. In quick succession, we launched the brand in the US, Europe, Australia and the Middle East. Madhavji depended on me completely. Why, he even called me his son!

“Then he wanted to extend the range to include other cuisines too and I agreed. Why not, I said. So we tied up with Remino Fox to add the continental fare. I worked even on that joint venture. That’s how closely Madhavji worked with me. Was I to expect he would go and sell out? Yes! That’s what he did, and so quietly! I am staggered by his secrecy. Even as recent as last week, I was discussing new packaging designs and he showed such deep interest. And last night he says very simply: “I have sold Sonar Foods to Remino!” What? You sold it? No explanations, no nothing? So you see, that’s how money talks. I am finished, no? What happened to ‘my right hand man’? What happened to loyalty? FMCs are like that.

In the net analysis, they are simply traders seeking to book profits. Did he once consider he owed me an explanation? No! I was his flunky, he was paying me loose change, I served his cause, bas!”

Anna agreed in compassion, but said: “Thambi, these are business decisions, and one thing I have learnt, albeit the hard way, is that in business there is no scope for emotion. You attach your emotions to it, you are doomed. Work today, pick up today’s wages, go home.”

Thambi shook his head: “No, this is India, this is an Indian company, not some hoity-toity MNC. Our core values were trust and integrity, dedication and hard work. My father was seriously ill when Madhavji had to make that presentation to Remino in Venice. He came to see my dad in hospital and sought his blessings, can you beat that? Appa told me: you must go, you cannot abandon the ship when you have to steer it, nothing doing, work is work, company first, then family. And I went and made that presentation, got the JV, but lost my father. Does Madhavji remember all this? Why should he?”

Anna gave him a hug and said: “Thambi, all I want to say to you is this: life has to go on. Pull yourself together and swing forward. From the debris of your defeat, you have to build the weapons for the next phase. That’s what I did. Like you, I too was least expecting what happened at ABC. Right below my nose, my own colleague pulled the rug from under our feet and destroyed the very foundation of our business. And why, he did all this for more money, more power! For a few days I was shocked. People were leaving or were being asked to leave. Offices were being sold. Then I said, nothing is permanent. What was, is no more. So I will build again. And for the last two years that’s all I have been doing, rebuilding the fortunes of ABC at half salary.

Today my firm has turned the corner and I can say with pride, my dedication paid off.” Thambi sneered: “But wait till your loyalty bombs! How do you know your story has a happy ending? That’s how I was! And where am I today? And where is your cunning colleague? Between him and you, who is happier, richer, more successful?” Buddha, who was listening keenly, said: “Depends how you define success and happiness. Each of us gets what we work for. Those who pursue money will get money; those who pursue loyalty will get loyalty....”

At this stage, Kasparov spoke: “OK, let me clarify all this once and for all, Anna. You have rearranged the sequence of events in your mind in a manner that justifies to you that I cheated. But let me set the records straight. I tried calling you so many times then, but your address and numbers had all changed.

Abacus made me an offer in March, the Kemarr deal began in July. And the offer was a posting in the US. That is why I accepted it. I signed the offer but did not want to resign till my visa came through. That took six months. During that period, I bought a new property for my parents in Bangalore to move them there. The builder turned out to be a fraud, and we had sunk Rs 40 lakh. There was no way I was going to leave dad to fight the court case alone. I told Abacus I could not join, but they said I could join them in India for starters. But I had to go to the US anyway for a three-week orientation; that was when I learnt about the Kemarr account having been won by Abacus. Now you can take it or lump it!”

Anna would not buy the story. He said: “ Kas, if you are indeed the man of integrity you are painting out now, you would have resigned! But you did it for the money!” “Of course I joined Abacus for the money, whether your moral standards permit it or not!” yelled Kasparov, “but I had no idea that they were also pacing the account! My integrity was clear to me. I knew honest to God that I had moved for the offer and the subsequent account move had nothing to do with me. Why should I have resigned, for what? I had wanted that kind of money, so I took their offer! Now this is exactly what I mean... you want me to bend backwards to perform an act so that you can give me a clean chit on the integrity count! You want me to be embarrassed for wanting big money! I wanted big money, I got it!”

The exchanges had become heated and angry, with Kasparov thumping tables. Buddha and Vela tried to bring peace, but Kasparov shushed them. Suddenly he said: “Banking is an industry where you are only as good as the last deal you won. So why should I let any crore go away? Why? Today I am in a job, but it does not mean tomorrow I am in a job! Everyday is how I save for my future! In this business you can be jobless at 40!”

Mercifully, Thambi spoke. “In the FMC industry, you can be jobless at 35 like me,” he said wryly. Kasparov, already agitated, said: “Oh Thambi, stop it! Don’t be a girl, for God’s sake! You lost a job, what’s odd? Any high-profile job is fraught with risks; life does not end because you made a bad move! You get up, dust your backside and resume running. An MBA is not designer wear to show off. It’s a steel armour; it’s your survival kit! It’s the only asset you can never lose. OK, what if Remino Fox were to come to you tomorrow and make an offer to be their CEO and offer you a Rs 20-crore salary? Arre! Give it a week, events will unfold!”

Thambi went red in the face. “Shut up Kasparov,” he said severely. “Don’t make a joke. I don’t want money.” “No?” asked Kasparov. “And why not? What are you working for? I don’t understand you guys. The company is in business, in business to make profits, is making obscene profits, but you don’t want money! Why? Why are you guys all the same? You embarrass me. If you don’t want money, then why are you working for such companies? Why don’t you work for an NGO? Don’t want money, pah! Does not wanting money make you holy?”

A sudden silence pervaded the room. Even Kasparov became conscious that he had been talking in soprano. As he lowered his voice, his stance too softened: “Sorry Thambi. I was harsh. Your ideals are not making sense. All I am saying is, don’t be a blind slave of a set of ideals which you have not even examined once. “Your father was a great guy, and each of us here have taken little nuggets of advice from him. You, of course, got the whole barrel which you are carrying on your shoulders like dead weight. No doubt, he said work for Indian businesses, but isn’t it time for you to probe into that and draw the essence? You adopted Indian businesses as your goal, and you expected them to adopt you in turn. The fact is that business is one place you cannot make relationships.

As Michael Douglas says in Wall Street: ‘If you want a friend, buy a dog!’

“Look Thambi, organisations use us, you learn to use them. Fine, some of us are happier in a PSU, but I’m one of those who would like my kid to say ‘My dad has a Merc’ rather than ‘My dad teaches street kids for free’, or some such thing. Yeah, I draw the line at doing something dishonest to make money, but if I have worked hard for the Merc, I feel I deserve it. My wife and I will not be on some guilt trip if my co-worker is still driving a Maruti.”

Rekha sneered: “Sure, your wife likes that Merc, Kasparov, but she would prefer you sitting in that Merc along with her, not being driven to some boutique while you are busy with your latest cross-border deal or whatever!” Kasparov agreed: “But just because I am not accompanying her to the boutique does not mean we are not enjoying life, or are unhappy, Rekha!”

Fundae nodded and said: “We tend to equate happiness with money. Historically, we were a poor country and if a person got enough money to buy food and shelter he was happy, because he escaped poverty. More money meant more success, more respect, etc. Today it’s different - most of us come from middle-class backgrounds and our families always had a decent quality of life. The guy with the least salary in our batch still has enough to enable him to lead a happy life. Will his ‘delta happiness’ double if his income doubles?

“On campus, we used to dismiss Gandhiji’s philosophy as totally outdated, but there is so much of him that is so relevant today, like: ‘There is enough for everyone’s need but not for everyone’s greed.’”

“Look,” said Kasparov, “values like sacrifice, commitment, and loyalty are all relative. During my high school, my sole aim was getting into a top engineering college. After that, the goal post shifted to getting into an IIM. All those hours of slaving and cramming for the exams, was so that I would enjoy a good lifestyle on a cushy job. But when I compared myself to my gora colleagues at the firm, I found that they got paid far more with qualifications far less. Suddenly, you feel it’s all so unfair, no matter how well you are placed. Rekha will agree. That was the stage in my career when I had two choices: renounce the corporate rat race or pursue the good life with a vengeance. Call it a rebellion after those years of sacrifice. I get a kick from driving a better car or getting a bigger bonus than my white counterparts - that is the only way to show that I have arrived.”

Fundae smiled: “During placements, we harped on job satisfaction. By mid-30s, we seek self actualisation! Life is not just a balance between abundance and emotional satisfaction. I’m writing a book. It’s a boring OB related thing. It will be read by some 10 other ‘profs’ and won’t make me money. But I get my high from it!”

Vela agreed, “Boss, same here. I did engineering because I wanted to be an engineer; I did my MBA to become a better engineer. Last year, we went to Yemen for this project. The place was hell. A 50 degree desert complete with snakes and scorpions, which you banker log can’t imagine. But we were on a fantastic high when we completed that project - everyone from my boss to the cook. A big oil MNC was doing a project next door and they could not manage what we did despite all their hi technology and big budgets. For me, satisfaction is doing what I was trained to do, making a real difference to people, feeling proud to be Indian...

“But trouble is, in the process of becoming, we forget to be!”