Top 10 Bottom 10

It is my firm belief that every girl has a Top 10 list of behaviors that she would like to see in a potential suitor. Any guy smart enough to exhibit any of these in his interaction with the lady in question, will get pride of place in her list of matches, thus increasing his chances of leaving the species of single unmarried men sooner rather than later.

After all isn’t that what all males want?

Before you bring out the champagne, be cautioned that there is a complimentary list of Bottom 10 behaviors too which if demonstrated in view of the damsel will ensure that you are banished to the Bajrang Dal for eternity! What are these Top 10 and Bottom 10 behaviors? How does one identify them and more importantly how does ensure that these are displayed at the appropriate times! Essentially no matter how high your Gawar Quotient is, you can still be Prince Charming for your damsel suitable aided by a well timed and strategic demonstration of Top 10 behavior. I will now attempt to give you a flavour of some Top 10 and Bottom 10 behaviors which if displayed and executed with class and panache will ensure success!!!!

Bottom 10 Behavior Example I

Ordering for Old Monk and Coke in a pub

Complimentary Top 10 Behavior Example I

Asking for Old Monk and Coke at a party especially when you have a choice of the most expensive wines, exotic cocktails and top notch Scotch. The very fact that you are drinking simple Old Monk despite having access to all these fancy drinks and the Reverse Snobbery it exhibits automatically catapults your action into the very top. To make your action even more Top Ten have your old monk with Diet Coke! And if you really want to kill her with your class and style – ask for a dash of lime with your drink! She will be floored – trust me on this one!

Bottom 10 Behavior Example II

Having hobbies such as stamp collecting [though referring to it as philately might get you some brownie points] and reading Tinkle comics.

Complimentary Top 10 Behavior Example II

Having hobbies such as watching plays and dramas, playing any musical instrument [drummers are most sought after and saxophone artists the most revered, though even a simple guitar will do the trick]. This adds to the atmosphere of serenading that every girl dreams off. If by some freak of nature – in addition to being blessed by this musical talent you are also a dancer [which automatically puts you in the 0.00001% of the male population who can do both these with aplomb], this increases your chances manifold.

Bottom 10 Behavior Example III

Requesting for Kajra Re / It’s the Time to Disco / Koi Kahe Kehta Rahe / Chandu ki Chachi at a discotheque or show any inclination for the above songs.

Complimentary Top 10 Behavior Example III

It is massively hep to know the names of groups such as Monty Python’s Flying Circus and Creedence Clearwater Revival. If you can actually hum songs from any of these groups, you are then The Man. Pink Floyd is not distinctive enough and if you think We don’t Need no Education is Top Ten then you need a reality shock – that went out of fashion when your dad was in college

Bottom Ten Behavior Example IV

Using the dance floor as your own personal gymnasium. Remember this is not an occasion to catch up with the exercise you have been planning for some time now. There is much more to dancing than reaching for the strobe lights on the ceiling and shaking your bum like there was a bee in your underwear! It is a huge negative to step on your partner’s pretty feet while dancing. In African Tribes they say “Mata Uta Eh Ohh..” and the associated dance went out of fashion some time in 1995

Complimentary Top 10 Behavior Example IV

Knowing Salsa / Tango / Waltz / Swing / Ballroom and other dances are a huge plus. Not only do they put you right up there in your girl’s list but you also become the heart-throb of the party! You don’t need to be reading this if you know any of these dances.

This ought to give you a flavor of what’s hot and what’s not when it comes to Top Ten / Bottom Ten behavior. In those moments of self doubt and questioning when you need a shoulder to cry on [after having felt the after effects of displaying Bottom Ten behavior] feel free to contact this 24 x 7 helpline for any queries Top10Bottom10@gmail.com